What should I do?

I kinda don't feel like going to the mall nor to the movies, but I would see Oz, the Great and Powerful.  My mom is gonna come get me.  I'd have to take the bus, but I'm really, really tired.  I have theater homework, I know Acting 1, just a Midterm journal however and supposedly redoing something I don't know about, also to memorize a rhyme for Tuesday for Voice for the Actor.  However, Ginny might tell me to leave.  I told the counselor I was going.  I'm withdrawing from Weight Training, sometime, and I'm telling someone to take the hold off my record because I know it could happen.  I bet Ginny knew this, and I bet she didn't decide herself.

Watcha think

of like Ginny m********** thinking of how cool her kids will be if they were born when she was 40?

Problem

I'm annoyed, I'm not babyish in a bad way, but these greasy, square, kinda too thin men keep going around presenting Ginny as a tacky *** lover.

Question

So, I'm supposedy **** and artistic and romantic, which come hand in hand.  However, I'm nice and Ginny isn't.

So

What do you think about Ginny's 2-sided dishonest personality?  No one gives a shit about kids with older parents who moved to Florida.

Just Woke Up

So much to talk about, so been in bed apparently for like what 12 hours?

So, I dreamed I was in a shop, the whole time felt like I was being held by a dead baby Ginny.  I was with my dad.  I was looking at food, remember seeing the pizza shop.  Thin slices, good and gooey, something I'd had before.  Then, I ended up gettinga  buckeye and fudge brownie covered in chocolate for like $4.  I was asking the price, like my dad asked, kinda in a sweet fashion I didn't hear well like my mom.  He left after I got them.

So, in bed, I remember I finally thought of how maybe they will just not let me register at Valencia, that I had to write something out for today.  I finally was unable to continue feeling anymore, in a way.

I also thought about how some parents have bad kids and how they're mean, forget what about-

Not sure what else..  :/  Just kinda upset about the meeting, I guess, and something else.. don't remember what.. maybe my dad, though.  Also, my opinion is that Tim Burton "used" me.  I just keep seeing him show up with some insult and having nothing to say.  No one believes he was hypnotized by me nor any individual other than Johnny Depp, like under the influence.  Everyone knows I'm just a good person to Tim Burton and to Johnny Depp a cool person but ½ Chinese + importantly possibly part Native American and Germanic Jewish.

You can't just poop off my dignity after my life became an experiment.  I will **** you.

Problem

I don't care about Tim Burton and Ginny being cool from Pennsylvania but "noncomforming."

Problem

So, my mom ruined the world.  She is threatening to hurt Ginny.  Why did she talk to my therapist?  That was a good long talk.  It was my dad.  **** him.  He's seeing his mom this weekend.

Problem

Stop kidding with my in my private, Ginny.

Problem

Ginny, go away, stop having *** with my dad.  Why am I getting these after messages like you're some gay genius who just wants me to not be happy?  Because I go out, and I don't find anything okay.  I'm not just alone in my room.  There's something wrong with my dad.  I don't want to think about him.  It's not just a single thought.  He does something to me, and I don't accept it, and the idea seems to plow through.  I'm not gonna wait to have Ginny make me feel better, and I'm not gonna just be with my dad.

Problem

Why are you affected by my dad?  I just got an image of some short, fat person squirming uncontrollably in the air in a tower.  I've been getting this image more and more.  What disturbed me was I thought of the person being given an o*****.  It offended me.  My dad always used to let me tease, but he's been mean, lately.  I thought my life was an experiment, didn't tell him because he knows, and I failed college.  I don't have to tell him, and it wasn't on purpose.  I think he knows, too, so, I mean it's not like I have to say I'm a nigger and have to submit to him because I'm not a nigger.  What bothered me was that you are selfish and from Orlando or L.A. or something and you think that it matters what my dad says.  I don't care.  I don't want to talk to him.  Not in that way.  Why won't he stop?  He's a *beep*  Please don't sit there and care I said that, it's my blog.  You're all just niggers and want to be attractive like me, but you're shit and don't listen.  I'm gonna **** you, take that.  Why are you telling me my dad is gay?  No one gives a fuck about him.  Just talk to me, you gay niggers.  WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM.  Everyone I see wants to know about my dad.  I didn't do anything to him.  What, did my mom go around the city?  She said I can't go to the bar.  I guess I'll go.  Don't ask about my mom, you niggers, or I'll ask "what" yours just said.  Your parents like me.  You say they don't.  I guess I'm the good sibling.  Ooh, Ginny, got something to say about that.  You're a bad person.  Take that.  Explain.  I'm not looking for no one, obviously.  What did I seem to come to you with?  Wanting to meet a person in person?  Gonna get all gay about it?  Maybe, I'll just go back to bed.  I SAID SHUT UP.  I SAID I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.  Get your nigger dad to m********* you.  HEAR THAT.  I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.  I SAID STOP.  I SAID STOP.  DO SOMETHING.  Stop talking to me in my room meanly.  Stop fighting me, you niggers.

Funny

I'm so awake from weight training.

What's wrong with seeing Ginny?  I like her.  Why do you act like she's too good for me?  Maybe, that's not the problem.  See, what are you supposed to do, anyway?  You always say it's about liking your work and doing arts in the community and moreover anyone willing to say classical is good and that most people don't even care about classical, don't even understand music, good music.  Music today is like all country isn't it?  I am fortunate to have known folk and sacred music, however, so.  Also, country music is gay.  Must be people who have a health problem.  I mean, who likes being white in that way that much?

About the internet.  There is nothing wrong with making a blog.  I mean, you should network, find the stuff you believe in and maybe see what's going on in the world.

Plan

So, I think I will go to a bar or casino, but my mom said no, so that means I might not be in the bar dancing so long so late, like after midnight.. you know?  It's a place to meet people, not to like say I don't like my parents, I'm too old, I am..I need to socialize, and that doesn't happen @ school|work.  :|  She doesn't want me home after 11.  About going to the mall, I won't take your crap that maybe you say it's okay to go to the mall but maybe it says you think you're something instead of just sitting at home doing nothing.  I'll see you not connect with anyone, at all.

And another thing, if you think you're whiter than Ellen DeGeneres is your problem.  What am I supposed to know?  I mean my mom is also not technically Caucasian or whatever.  It's the same thing.  I'm not like her.  I forget how she offended me.  Oh yes, she claims to pay attention to me and wants me to say no I don't want you to and that I can't get mad because she has to get mad at me, like for being poor.  Poor and unfortunate.  I mean, supposedly, if they know I thought it in private or something or can tell something about what I say, then they like make it their point for a long time.  Then, like, there's no one there, there's no Mickey Mouse, there's no Walt Disney.

Also, there's lots of funny ideas going on with Ginny, but I don't hurt her.  She just like expects me to be good at something else, but that's not so.... I know.  So, there are 2 or 3 problems.  She's not nice, and other people did something that caused a problem.  I don't know how you would make 4 people say something.  Also, I mean, no one is the same age, so this makes sense to me.  0;)

Problem

So, I was bothered, but I was thinking of how maybe Ginny cares about people who aren't good and are just racist offspring.

I just found out she doesn't give a shit.  She is offended I go to Valencia all day in anticipation of her class.

Will She-

Will Ginny ever get up again?  Maybe, she wants peo-ple-

I'm thinking of withdrawing.

From Weight Training.  I don't want to do a sport next semester, neither.  I dunno..  I did just want to stay home.  I decided not to do yoga in the morning.  I mean, it was a good experience, I just don't like the hw.  ':{  If you want to talk about it technically, it's about waking up + I don't want to do it later.  ':{  There's lots of fun things to do here in Orlando, but gotta go down the list, I guess.  I mean, I just can't take putting a lot into like more than 1 activity.  I mean, I do singing and piano, still.  I mean, I'll always probably like classical music.  I mean, I like sorta artsy music.  I'm really not a theater major.  I just am looking for teachers I like and was gonna do another activity, but you know maybe at Seminole in the Spring.  I was gonna go to college up north by my relatives for a semester, but I don't feel like it.  I was gonna go for music.  I guess I'm not ready and they don't want to see me that much, so I won't go.  I have nowhere to go and no one to see.  Maybe, I should work on being famous for something.  I like posting online.  I wanted to get in Logan's Run, a sorta under the wing project of something I like.  They claim that a star role is for anyone, but I know it's a test, now.  Also, about singing, that's what the internet's for, the classical music.  I am interested in social activism and research, but there's nothing to research.  We have the internet and can do anything.  Everything else is just formal.  I'm glad to know some people in my life who are reachable:

(1) Ginny
(2) Tim Burton
(3) *Johnny Depp*
(4) my old organ teacher|choir director, Margaret, Dr Campo
(5) my old music teachers
(6) my old theater teacher
(7) a voice professor
(8) Renée Fleming
(9) Órla Karron Fallon

There are so many nice people in Orlando.  I was just put off by someone in Slidell, where I used to live.  So, I dunno-