Ugh

I'm so tired and have to take a bus somewhere.  Why didn't my dad get sushi?

Got Back

So, I threw away all the garbage and recycled all my drink bottles - still have some caps.  I have to like put away some things, more laundry.  What else?  Neaten up some things..  See if I can rearrange some things.  This is really stupid.  I'm taking more medicine, need to vaccuum.

So, I stopped.  I saw something on the floor, small, oval-ish, reddish brown.  I saw it crumble.  I left the house, and my dad flipped me off in his tone but acted like he didn't and I kinda left in a mean way but not like loud.  I just felt bad and it happened.  I didn't say yes I want to talk to you.  I was just mad knew that I wasn't safe.

Just Woke Up

So much to talk about, so been in bed apparently for like what 12 hours?

So, I dreamed I was in a shop, the whole time felt like I was being held by a dead baby Ginny.  I was with my dad.  I was looking at food, remember seeing the pizza shop.  Thin slices, good and gooey, something I'd had before.  Then, I ended up gettinga  buckeye and fudge brownie covered in chocolate for like $4.  I was asking the price, like my dad asked, kinda in a sweet fashion I didn't hear well like my mom.  He left after I got them.

So, in bed, I remember I finally thought of how maybe they will just not let me register at Valencia, that I had to write something out for today.  I finally was unable to continue feeling anymore, in a way.

I also thought about how some parents have bad kids and how they're mean, forget what about-

Not sure what else..  :/  Just kinda upset about the meeting, I guess, and something else.. don't remember what.. maybe my dad, though.  Also, my opinion is that Tim Burton "used" me.  I just keep seeing him show up with some insult and having nothing to say.  No one believes he was hypnotized by me nor any individual other than Johnny Depp, like under the influence.  Everyone knows I'm just a good person to Tim Burton and to Johnny Depp a cool person but ½ Chinese + importantly possibly part Native American and Germanic Jewish.

You can't just poop off my dignity after my life became an experiment.  I will **** you.

Issue

So, why did my mom need to meet my dad, we all know that.  My mom is more from Florida than his sisters..

Problem

I just went to the bathroom, my dad was up early again.. and I heard a voice, a gruff, rough man.  I don't want to see how he opens the door each time I go.

Problem

So, you just picking on me because my dad is biologically from Pennsylvania but not all and not from a major city nor he nor near ancestors from Southern but not like 1800.

Problem

My dad isn't nice, just "has something."  Like, he doesn't believe in touching a problem.

Problem

So, my mom ruined the world.  She is threatening to hurt Ginny.  Why did she talk to my therapist?  That was a good long talk.  It was my dad.  **** him.  He's seeing his mom this weekend.

Problem

So, why every time I see my dad do I feel so bad?

Problem

Ginny, go away, stop having *** with my dad.  Why am I getting these after messages like you're some gay genius who just wants me to not be happy?  Because I go out, and I don't find anything okay.  I'm not just alone in my room.  There's something wrong with my dad.  I don't want to think about him.  It's not just a single thought.  He does something to me, and I don't accept it, and the idea seems to plow through.  I'm not gonna wait to have Ginny make me feel better, and I'm not gonna just be with my dad.

Problem

Why are you affected by my dad?  I just got an image of some short, fat person squirming uncontrollably in the air in a tower.  I've been getting this image more and more.  What disturbed me was I thought of the person being given an o*****.  It offended me.  My dad always used to let me tease, but he's been mean, lately.  I thought my life was an experiment, didn't tell him because he knows, and I failed college.  I don't have to tell him, and it wasn't on purpose.  I think he knows, too, so, I mean it's not like I have to say I'm a nigger and have to submit to him because I'm not a nigger.  What bothered me was that you are selfish and from Orlando or L.A. or something and you think that it matters what my dad says.  I don't care.  I don't want to talk to him.  Not in that way.  Why won't he stop?  He's a *beep*  Please don't sit there and care I said that, it's my blog.  You're all just niggers and want to be attractive like me, but you're shit and don't listen.  I'm gonna **** you, take that.  Why are you telling me my dad is gay?  No one gives a fuck about him.  Just talk to me, you gay niggers.  WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM.  Everyone I see wants to know about my dad.  I didn't do anything to him.  What, did my mom go around the city?  She said I can't go to the bar.  I guess I'll go.  Don't ask about my mom, you niggers, or I'll ask "what" yours just said.  Your parents like me.  You say they don't.  I guess I'm the good sibling.  Ooh, Ginny, got something to say about that.  You're a bad person.  Take that.  Explain.  I'm not looking for no one, obviously.  What did I seem to come to you with?  Wanting to meet a person in person?  Gonna get all gay about it?  Maybe, I'll just go back to bed.  I SAID SHUT UP.  I SAID I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.  Get your nigger dad to m********* you.  HEAR THAT.  I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.  I SAID STOP.  I SAID STOP.  DO SOMETHING.  Stop talking to me in my room meanly.  Stop fighting me, you niggers.